#The puppies and snails yes

[forestlion]

Reblog and add a picture of the Scout-Schulranzen you had in der Grundschule

[switchymxwinter]

oh my, lots of fun lately. i can hardly wait to get the mail today!

[leighsartworks216]

Puppy

Sylus x gn!Reader

Inspired by the quality time work/study animation when he looks up from cleaning his gun and he just looks so soft and sweet 🥺 And also from the in-game phone call "Crow"

Warnings: swearing, pet names, biting, teasing, fluff

Word Count: 1,142

Masterlist

AO3

Tag List Form

“Where’s Sylus?”

The temperamental crow looked at you with one glowing red eye, beak turned away coyly. You have to wonder what kind of programming went into making him have so much attitude. It’d probably go right over your head, anyway.

“Wanna make a deal?” You keep an eye on Mephisto as you reach into your pocket, rooting around until cold metal touches your fingers. You lift the shiny metal nut like a prize. “Hm? A nice shiny trinket for you if you show me where Sylus is? What d’ya say?”

His metal wings fluttered at his side, feet stepping unsurely on his perch. But all crows are alike, mechanical or otherwise. He swoops down and snatches the metal from your fingers. You feel the brush of talons, barely escaping having your hand sliced up by an overeager metal chicken.

His caw sounds like a laugh as he leads you down the many halls of the mansion. When he stops to wait for you to catch up, he croons at his shiny new knickknack, pecking at it and staring at it from every angle with his red eyes. He glides through the open crack of a door.

You peek in first. It’s a study, with shelves lined with old paper books and vinyls. There’s a desk with guns neatly laid out on top. Mephisto perches on the accompanying chair. And on the couch, head tilted back and eyes closed, is Sylus.

You wonder if he’s really asleep this time. He’s tricked you before, but as you listen closely you hear the soft snores giving him away.

How cute, you think. A little midnight nap.

The door doesn’t make a sound as you push it open enough to slip inside. You don’t close it back all the way, and Mephisto’s wings nearly clip your head as he flies back outside of the room. That damn bird will always have it out for you, you’re sure of it.

You creep along the elegant carpet to your target, slowly lowering yourself to sit on the other end of the couch. As much as you love messing with Sylus, you didn’t actually want to wake him up now. So, being very careful, you lay down and rest your head in his lap.

“If you want to cuddle, you don’t need to sneak around for it.”

You smack his chest. “You’re such an asshole!” Your heart was racing from the scare, but you don’t get up from your new position. Sylus rewards you by beginning to comb his fingers through your hair. “Were you actually sleeping?”

He hums. There’s a gravel to his voice you didn’t notice before. “Yes, I was.” He finally lifts his head from the back of the couch to look down at you. “Until someone gave Mephisto a shiny new item for his collection.”

You chuckle despite the unimpressed look on his face. “He told on me again?”

“You’re all he seems to talk about these days,” he sighs. He brushes some hair away from your forehead. “At least it’s positive, this time.

“Did you need something from me?”

“Not really. I was just… lonely.”

He smiles slightly. “Well, I’m always happy to keep you company, sweetie.”

It’s easy to doze while he plays with your hair. He seems to know all the right spots, all the right techniques to ease your troubles away. In his care, your hair doesn’t tangle or get caught. It’s heaven.

-

When you wake up, you’re exactly where you were. Sylus’s lap was warm under you, and you wondered if his legs fell asleep at any point during your nap. If they did, he’d suffered through it for your sake.

His hand was nearly still in your hair now. It didn’t move in those perfect ministrations as before. Instead, it was almost completely still, moving at a snail’s pace along the crown of your head. You blink your eyes open to figure out why, maybe even pout and whine about it just to annoy him, but you can’t stop from just staring.

If he notices you’re awake or watching him, he doesn’t say anything. His thumb scrolls through his phone, probably looking at the latest underground news on shady deals or skimming over messages from desperate people wanting to deal with him. Something that drew his attention away from you, at least.

So you take your time drinking him in.

He’s pretty, there’s no arguments there, but it’s his own kind of pretty. It’s sharp and multifaceted, like a crystal. His eyes are intense, lashes so dark and thick it looks like he’s wearing makeup. You wonder if he does. He’d look even more gorgeous with dark red eyeshadow and sharp cat eyeliner. His lips are pressed into a thin line, soft pink drawing your eyes to them. You quickly turn your attention to the slope of his nose before he catches you.

With a sigh, Sylus closes his phone and sets it aside. His hand in your hair goes back to a normal speed, his fingers scratching at the nape of your neck as he finally looks down at you, And just like that, all that sharp beauty is replaced.

Instead of his usual intense gaze, his eyes are soft around the edges, just a little bit wider, relaxed. His lips quirk up slightly at the sight of you, softening his cheekbones. He tilts his head playfully, eyebrows raising as though asking if you’re enjoying the view.

“Puppy.”

He blinks, and it’s gone. His brow furrows, his lips dropping into a frown, eyes sharpened with suspicion. “What?”

You smirk. It’s rare to feel like you have the upper hand. You reach up and touch his cheek. He leans into it, though his expression remains.

“Sometimes you get this look on your face,” you tell him. Your thumb runs under his eye. “It makes you look soft, like a little puppy.”

He scoffs, but his lips quirk up again. “Just how long have you been waiting to use that on me?”

You hum, running your fingers down his cheekbone to his jaw. “Since I asked you to join me while I study a few days ago.” You traced the sharp cut of his jawline, tracking the movement with your eyes. “I looked up for a minute, and you were looking at me like I’d just promised to scratch you behind the ears.” To emphasize your point, you reach to do just that.

He catches your hand before you can, thumb pressed to your palm to keep your hand open. He brings your fingers to his lips, eyes watching you intently as he bites down on them, one at a time, nipping at the tips and knuckles with a smirk. “Careful, kitten,” he warns. He bites at the soft skin on the back of your hand. “This puppy bites.”

[reallyromealone]

Hi! Just sending in this ask before I forget my idea, dont answer this until your asks are open again I just want to write this down before I forget!! Boten x single father! male reader, reader works at a restaurant and Boten comes in one night and Mikey takes a liking to him, his daughter sits in the staff room and draws/plays because she’s too young to be home alone- 🦇 anon

Title: cute waiter

Fandom: Tokyo revengers

Characters: bonten

Fic type: fluff

Pairings: Mikey x reader

Warnings: male reader, reader insert, single dad reader, fluff, nameless daughter, Mikey has that weird ass rizz as the kids say

Notes:

Summary: bonten goes to a small restaurant while in town for business and Mikey falls for the cute waiter.

🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄

(Name) Could never thank his boss enough for letting (daughters name) stay in the office, the elderly woman finding the toddlers company pleasant while she worked on scheduling and order's.

"(Name), could you cover booth three? I have to talk to (boss name) about the schedule" (name) looked to his co-worker who managed the hardest puppy eyes he could "fine, but you owe me"

"Thank you!"

(Name) Never knew what to expect at the small restaurant, typically it was the locals in the small town but sometimes some rich people came in and even foreigners which was a gamble on how the experience would go.

Usually they were nice though.

"Hello! Could I get you gentlemen started with water or perhaps the chef's choice of wine?" (Name) Said happily to the group who sized him up, the man in the middle just staring him down with cold blackened eyes but (name) just continued smiling and even making eye contact with them.

Blissfully unaware of who they were or what their tattoos meant.

"We will start with the finest wine you have" the white haired man with snake like eyes said simply, his rings shining under the warm lights "of course! I will be back momentarily with your wine, gentlemen" and with that (name) turned and left, bonten not missing Mikey's curious look and the lock on to the waiters ass. They all exchanged glances while their boss just ate his snacks, flipping to the dessert menu to see they had the good stuff.

(Name) Returned moments later and filled their glasses, Mikey freezing when the waiter got close to him and the white haired man could smell the others cologne faintly and nearly shoved his face into the poor man's neck if it wasn't for his self control "so tell us about yourself, Mr waiter ~" ran was going to do his boss a favor, knowing Mikey had the romantic abilities of a snail. "Ah, what would you like to know?" (Name) Was so easy going, care free "you in school?" "You single?" "You know how to bake?"

(Name) Was a bit startled by the questions but didn't see the harm "I'm not, I graduated last year, I am single and I do know how to bake, yes" (name) laughed a bit at the questions "now, what can I get you gentlemen?" Changing the topic to get to business and not have these attractive men ask every detail of his life.

Of course they ordered the nicest things on the menu, it was going to be a pricy bill no doubt but (name) wasted no time getting their order before his coworker took over his table for his break and hang out with his tot. (Name) Brought in dinner for the two, free food from the restaurant and (daughters name) got cute rice balls shaped like hearts and for dessert she got taiyaki shaped like stars and filled with custard.

"Wow you drew this?" (Name) Cheered on his kid who beamed, the owner who became their grandmother of sorts always splurged on the good coloring supplies for the little girl and finding some cute toys for the office so she's never bored.

"Why don't we show the team, yeah?" (Name) Asked the little one who bounced a little, clearly happy at the idea "let's go!" Holding his little girls hand, the restaurant was nearly dead save for the group of eight who were furious that (name) was changed out for another person but Mikeys anger quickly melted when he saw the tiny version of (name) waddle towards the elderly owner who was rolling cutlery.

"My!" She cooed and lifted the little girl up "you're so talented!"

Mikey and (name) locked eyes, the waiter offering a sweet smile and Mikey's face dusted red, (name) didn't miss the stares and the blushes on the pale man, knowing damn well the awkward blond thought he was attractive "you enjoy your meal?" (Name) Asked him casually, the blond composing himself "yeah..." His words simply and short, never the one for small talk "that your kid?"

"Ah, yeah... She's too young to be alone and my boss practically helped raise me as a teen so she just hangs here"

Mikey nodded and looked over (name) who caught his stare "would you like to go out sometime?" (Name) Thought the blond was cute, even if he barely spoke and just stared ominously.

Mikey froze, usually it was him doing that "you don't know who we are, do you?"

"...models...?" (Name) Said confused, unsure of his answer and Mikey just stared back at the man "what? Used to people not recognizing you?"

"Something like that"

"Well I hope to get to know you better, I have to get my rugrat in for her nap but I'll be back soon yeah"

Mikey never felt so complacent, nodding and even letting (name) kiss his cheek gently before going to get his daughter.

[superhaught]

Incurable Cravings (Chapter Two)

(GIF by goodtitsbigheart)

Pairing: Regina x Reader

Warnings: makes reference to previous explicit content, mention of eating disorder, mild angst/arguing

Word Count: 2500, Part 2/?

Part 1 / Part 3

Regina and Reader reflect on their past as they try to be close again.

This is now an AU where Regina George and Leighton Murray are twin sisters split up in a custody battle.

Regina turned the light in the closet on and pulled her phone out. She examined herself in the camera app and adjusted the way her hair fell around her shoulders, “meet me at my car after school.”

You watched her apply a fresh layer of lip gloss and touch up the edges of her lips then she met your eyes, “this is the part when you respond.”

“Oh, yeah… okay. I’ll meet you.”

Regina put her phone away and stood up straighter as she reached out and began fixing your hair and swiped her thumb over your lips, removing the traces of her lip gloss from your skin, “I’ve always liked your hair… it’s not fair that you have these curls naturally,” she mused. 

“Thanks…” you whispered softly.

“Why are you being all weird now?”

“What? I’m not being weird.”

The blonde rolled her eyes and crossed her arms in front of her chest, “yes, you are. Just a minute ago, you were being all bold, like I’ve never seen from you before. Now, you’re all terrified and squirrely.”

“I’m just… processing.”

“Well, do that shit later. It’s ruining your glow.”

“What does that even mean?”

“Nevermind.” Regina put her tube of lip gloss back in her bag and then slipped past you to exit the janitor’s closet, “My car. After school. Don’t disappoint me.”

She didn’t give you time to issue a response. She left you and strutted off to show up fashionably late to her 5th period class. 

You took a deep breath. Your mind was reeling but Regina was probably right, you should put it all out of your mind for now. At least until school was over. At least until the two of you could talk more in depth about what happened, which, you prayed you would have the chance to talk later when you met her for whatever she was planning. 

You slipped out of the closet and began to head in the opposite direction of Regina, toward your locker, until you were grabbed by your shirtsleeve and pulled aside. 

You sighed when you saw who it was: Janis. 

She stared at you, as if expecting you to immediately offer an explanation. 

“Janis, what?” You asked, annoyed.

“What do you mean ‘what?’ What the fuck just happened between you and Regina?”

“How is that any of your business? You haven't talked to me for three years and now you just expect me to spill?”

Janis relaxed at that, “well… I guess I just thought, when it comes to Regina…”

“Well you thought wrong, Janis. I’m late for class.” You pulled yourself out of the girl’s grip and walked away.

You felt bad for being cold to Janis, but Regina was the reason your friendship didn’t survive in the first place. There was no way that you’d be able to get along now that it was even more complicated. Janis would have to figure out how to be okay on her own. 

The rest of your day seemed to move at a snail's pace. You watched the clock as you sat through your calc and stats classes, waiting for the dismissal bell to finally ring and let you go. 

You’d never packed up and got out of the building faster. A quick text to your mom of “going to study at a friends’” was enough to explain why you weren’t coming straight home, and like an obedient little puppy, you walked over to Regina’s Jeep in the student parking lot. 

She was there waiting for you, leaning against her door and swinging her keys around her index finger, “good, you still know how to listen.”

You raised an eyebrow at her, “where are we going?”

“My house, duh.”

“Kay. I bet your mom will be surprised to see me.”

Regina sighed, “I’d rather her not see you at all… but that’s unlikely… just get in, will you?”

You started to make your way around to the passenger side, “No Gretchen or Karen?”

She gave you a judgemental expression, “did you somehow lose all of your sense when you fucked me? Jesus Christ… no. It’s just us.”

“Jeez, sorry Gina.”

“I thought I told you not to call me that,” Regina sat in the driver’s seat and turned the engine on, “whatever.”

You got in and Regina turned the radio on before leaning over and buckling you in herself. The simple act gave you butterflies. You cleared your throat and turned away from her while she checked herself out in the rearview mirror and put on her sunglasses. 

“Ready?”

You nodded and then she peeled out of the parking lot. Once she was on a long stretch of road, she took one hand off the wheel and put it on your thigh. Your breath caught in your throat and you stayed quiet and still for a minute but then couldn’t help but break the silence when she came up to a red light. 

“When was the last time I was at your house, do you think?” You were being deceptive by asking. You knew exactly when the last time you were there was. 

“I don’t remember,” she shrugged. It was barely perceptible but you caught it, her eyebrow twitched. She was lying. She remembered, too.

The last time you were at your house was also the last time you were all together. It was the party. 

Spin the bottle was Regina’s suggestion because of course it was. You and Janis had no idea that Regina had a plan to manipulate the entire night. Regina knew that Janis was in love with her, but Regina didn’t want her to be and she was pissed off at Janis for something. 

Like always, Regina got exactly what she wanted. She spun the bottle and it landed on Janis. Regina kissed her and then immediately stabbed Janis in the gut, revealing the brunette’s crush in a very painful way. Regina pretended to make it about some guy, but it wasn’t about the guy at all. 

Janis ran off crying. You glared at Regina and said, “that was awful, Gina,” and began to run after Janis but Regina stood up and grabbed you, dragging you to her bedroom before you could comfort Janis. 

Regina squeezed your arm and shut her bedroom door. You couldn’t help but chuckle at the memory, apparently this was a pattern for the two of you. 

“Why are you mad at me? I did this for us, now it can just be you and me.”

“What are you talking about, Regina?” You asked. 

“Aren’t you sick of Janis’ stupid crush ruining our time together?”

“I never said anything like that! Janis is our friend! You shouldn’t have done that, Gina.”

“Well, I don’t care. It’s done. I’m done with her.”

After that, everything went to shit. Janis was a wreck. Regina was a nightmare. You couldn’t be in the middle of it anymore. Any hope you might have had of the three of you recovering was dashed in the chemistry lab fire incident. 

You went your separate ways, then. You never really forgave Regina but she wouldn’t leave you alone. Janis avoided you both like the plague most of the time. You knew that something crazy happened last school year when that new girl, Cady Heron, came to school, leading up to Regina’s accident. But you honestly took it as a reprieve. Your academic stress last year was killing you, so having Regina off of your back was wonderful. But that didn’t stop you from leaving a basket of her favorite treats on her front porch while she was recovering. You didn’t know what else to do.

Regina pulled into her driveway and you looked up at her house in awe. Had it gotten bigger?

Regina got out and came over to open your door for you, “come on.”

You followed her inside and Ms. George was right there waiting for her daughter’s arrival. The woman nearly dropped her glass of wine in shock, “oh my fucking god is that who I think it is?!” She screeched and ran forward, setting her wine glass down before trapping you in a hug.

“Hi, it’s nice to see you again,” you said, awkwardly patting her back.

She squeezed you and shook your body side to side then pulled away, “let me get a good look at you, oh my goodness, you’re even prettier! Don’t you think so, Regina?”

“Mom, can you like, chill, please? Jesus…”

“Sorry baby,” Ms. George let you go at that point, “well, welcome home, sweetheart. I’m so glad you’re back. You two have fun, I’ll be up with snacks in a minute.”

Regina grabbed your hand and dragged you up the stairs to her room. It was frighteningly easy to fall back into old habits. You set your bag down in the same spot as you always did and crashed onto her luxe bed like you always used to, while Regina examined herself in her floor length mirror. 

Regina poked and prodded at her face and neck for a moment and then Ms. George came into the room with a tray of food. 

“Here you go, my lovelies,” she set the tray down on the bed, “and I brought your meds, honey.”

Regina flashed her mom a glare and then returned her attention to herself in the mirror. Ms. George sat criss cross on the bed across from you. 

“Thank you so much, I’m starving,” you said, helping yourself to the chips and juice. 

“What have you been up to lately?? Regina never talks about you anymore, tell me everything! Are you dating anyone?”

You laughed, “I haven’t been up to much besides school, if I’m being honest. I’m making college plans and trying to do some more volunteering on my breaks. I’m not dating anyone right now,” you glanced at Regina quickly and you caught her raising her eyebrow curiously, “don’t have time.”

Ms. George asked you some questions about college stuff and then Regina shooed her away. The blonde came and sat down on her bed and took the small medicine cup off of the tray and dry swallowed the small handful of pills all at once. 

You gave her a look.

“What?” she asked.

“Come on, what’s going on?” you gestured to the cup as she set it back down.

Regina rolled her eyes, “it’s just stuff I have to take now, since the accident. Painkillers and stuff for my heart, don’t worry about it.”

You frowned, “you can’t tell me not to worry.”

“Can you drop it, please? I’m not in the mood.”

“Fine.” You helped yourself to more food, “aren’t you hungry?”

“No,” she said, shrugging. She started scrolling through her phone absentmindedly. 

“Regina…” you began.

“What is your problem?”

“Are you… you know…”

“Am I what? Do you think I can read your mind?”

“Are you restricting again?”

“I’m sorry, does fucking me make you think that you suddenly have the right to be on my case now? Back off, will you?”

“Then what the fuck is this? We can have sex but I can’t care, now? Is that it?”

“I don’t know!” She snapped, smacking the mattress out of anger. “I don’t know, okay?”

You didn’t say anything. You didn’t know either. You had no idea what the fuck this was. You leaned back against her pillows and sighed, “I’m sorry, Gina.”

“I’m sorry, too.”

“I just… if I’m going to be in your life again, I hope you’ll talk to me. Like we used to… that’s all.”

“I understand… I’m just not used to it anymore.”

You nod.

“Can we work up to it?” She looked at you with wide eyes. There she was. That vulnerable, sweet Regina that you used to know.

You smiled softly, “yeah.”

Regina slid closer to you on the bed and cuddled into your side, letting you wrap your arm around her back. She opened tiktok and started scrolling through her fyp with you. 

You rested together for another half hour and then you convinced her to let you work on homework and she even let you help her with her math assignment. 

“It makes so much more sense when you explain it,” she said. Successfully solving a problem. 

“I charge fifteen dollars an hour for tutoring,” you tease.

“Oh shut the fuck up,” she shoved your shoulder and chuckled, “I’ll pay in kisses.”

“Oh, really?”

“Mhmm… is that acceptable?”

“Hmm…” you grin, “I think some kind of kisses payment plan can be arranged…” 

Regina leaned in and gave you a light peck on the mouth. You smiled and turned your attention back to your book. 

“You know, don’t think that this makes up for the past three years of relentless bullying you’ve subjected me to…”

She smirked, “you would be a lot more convincing if I actually believed that a part of you didn’t enjoy it the whole time.”

You stuck out your tongue at her and she mirrored the gesture. You both laughed and you felt grateful that it felt light and easy at this moment. 

The sun began to set and you finished up with your homework. 

“Gina…”

“What?”

So, Janis tried to confront me in the hallway earlier… after we left the closet…”

Regina groaned, “of fucking course she did… she just won’t give up.”

“You hurt her… really bad… I mean, can we blame her?”

“It’s not like she’s fucking innocent!”

“What even happened that pissed you off so much? You never told me…”

The blonde rolled her eyes, “it’s a long story… and not mine to tell. It had to do with Leighton.”

“Leighton? Your sister, Leighton?”

“Yeah, who else?”

“Sorry, I just didn’t know Leighton and Janis had anything to do with each other.”

“Like I said, it’s a long story. All you need to know is that Janis dug her own grave and she should have known that I was gonna burn her for hurting my baby sister.”

“Your twin sister,” you corrected.

“I’m older,” she responded indignantly, “I’ll tell you more if Leighton says it’s okay.”

“Alright. How often do you two get to talk nowadays?”

“Not as often as we’d like. And we never get to see each other because mom and dad can’t even communicate. We have plans for being more in touch after graduation.”

You nod. She continues, “I’m worried it will be weird, though. I mean, we’ve had our own lives for almost five years now. She already knows where she’s going to school… early decision to Essex… I just feel like we’re the ultimate nature versus nurture experiment and now it’s like we’re not even related.”

“She’ll always be your sister. I’m sure you have more in common than you think.”

Regina nods slowly, not meeting your eyes. You hear Ms. George shout from downstairs that dinner is ready. 

“Gina, promise me you’ll eat something. For me, okay?” You give her your best puppy-dog eyes in hopes of convincing her. 

“I hate when you do that…”

“Pretty please?”

“Fiiiiine… ugh, I hate you.”

“I lo-” you catch yourself and pause, “I care about you… that’s all.”

She leads the way downstairs and you don’t know if she noticed your slip up.

Next Chapter

[bugboybuck]

i'm building an accidental headcanon abt bucktommy adopting a toddler age daughter (her name is olive in my head yes i'm in too deep) bUT regardless of the actual details of their kid, one thing incredibly important to me is that evan 'tapeworms are cool! it's nature!' buckley imparts being a Weird Bug Kid onto her. he's gonna be out in the garden (of tommy's once-fixer-upper, now-fixed-up-with-buck's-help house that their lil family adores) with her every day showing her how to hold worms in her hands gently when you need to move them off a hot sidewalk. they'll go on minibeast hunts and poke all sorts of gross stuff. tommy sort of lets them ramble to each other without knowing how much she's picking up so one day when he's taking her to the park and she's like 'dada look an ant nest! did u know theres one kind of ant that explodes when it dies and squirts poison on you!!' and tommy breaks out in a cold sweat. eventually tommy will be cleaning her room and find a whole jar full of snails under her bed (in a nest of moss and grass and snail-friendly things which is how he knows EVAN HELPED) and he's gonna just get the longest thousand yard stare. unfortunately he adores his daughter and his evan but he really wanted his kid to ask for a puppy and now it's nearly christmas and he's googling how to buy an african land snail because he can't say no to the matching adorable grins looking his way.

[astralnymphh]

╒═✰❝how the shadow shrouds❞

⋆' a smut teaser

⋆' . subtop/loser!ellie x dom!reader

⋆' content; drabble, blurbs, mature themes, smut, loser ellie, reader has a borderline dominatrix moment(at least in the actual fic), degrading (g), subtop ellie, painslut ellie, hair grabbing (g), voyeurism (e. aware + consenting), edging (g), slight dacryphilia, begging kink

⋆' a/n; this is merely a teaser piece for volume 2 of my tps series, so expect this to be short and not fully detailed. I just couldn't go without writing a teaser specifically for this chapter cuz it's such a hot idea.. this will be much more erotic in the actual fic.

"u're such a fucking loser, ellie williams."

those words wormed parching on her ear, the tepid cider staining your lips carrying a warm scent into her nose that made everything so woozy in her senses.

her ears parched because now, her boxers were sappy with arousal. pretty pussy pulsing on the couches' padding by your signal.

"am i?"

her reply duels you. pomegranate cheeks dulcified in brown sugar spots, hot to the touch, grazing against your own, limpid of any redness. you found esteem in the newfound control your voice held. ellie's pupils read like a palpable message, 'i want you, that bad.'

that bad. that bad being the way you gathered the short burnished hair of her scalp between your folded knuckles, tossing her down to a kneeling position with one gripe tug, her chin pressing the plush of your belly pouch. glossy pup eyes praying for that fierce grip you bear.

ellie us limited to the floor, and your looming shadow shrouds her.

yet, you would only give her half of what she longs for.

a stammer of her whispers stick a film of hot breath over your womb, "please– please, let me fuck you.." her slobbering lips shine, snailing strings of spit that tether to her tongue.

"what did just I say? hands in ur' fuckin' pants."

her mild adams apple bobs with a hitched swallow, hesitant tears brinking the shoreline of her bottom eyelids.

"yes ma'am," muttered ellie breathily, plopping her head down to observe her large hand undoing her pants.

"ey-" you wrap and pull her jaw up, forcing her to gaze up, sternly adding, "fucking look at me." your fingers dimple her skin and drag with reddening ripples.

now, her flexing hands halfway submerged in her unzipped jeans, rubbing discoid motions under her cotton boxers. the slick pools over her fingers, causing raw wet sounds to slosh from beneath the fabric of her boxers.

you could barely hear that shit, though.

the fingers tangled in the thicket of her rusty locks thrust her head back, stretching that elegant neck of hers even more. a choked 'guh.' bubbles from her chords.

"i wanna hear how wet y'are, show me." your cold request capers your throat and wisps out like a gravelly snarl.

the suffuse of blush clots her facial features, skin fermenting with a heat. like wildfire, her arousal spreads infinitely, spilling a heap of moisture to prune up her fingers more than they already were.

a gruff gulp is heard, "uhuhh~" and her other hand peels the waistband of her boxers forward, sounds of smacking wet folds carrying into your ears so deliciously. fuck.

"love it when' y'uh watch me.. mhhgmm, fuck baby, fuhhckk." moaned ellie, verde rings rolling halfway behind her dreary fucked–out lids, red puppy eyes.

the ravine between your upright stance and her pitiful kneeling one immerse your eyes in a beautiful perspective. balled paw messily stroking her achey, strained clit brings a bang of toe–curling pleasure to lash over her cunt, rising up her body.

she wasn't going to cum. not on your watch.

"stop."

her heavy eyes puff and shut, scrunching her brows, gently swaying her whole body up on her knees with each long rub to her clit. she doesn't listen to you. she keeps going. mumbling incoherent 'fucks' like an invocation over her purrs. what a greedy fucking loser.

"said' stop, d'ya hear me?"

the mitt in her hair heaves her crown up harshly, shoving her face plumb to your exposed navel, meek hands grip your thighs.

the tugged tenderness elicited in her scalp excited her further, confessedly – lewdly.

"can't come till i tell you to, kay?" your fingers wane from her scalp, caressing a beeline down her face 'till your index and middle nudge her lips, slipping the tips in, "suck, 'n finger yourself."

"baby, i chn't –" her whine pitches up, spitting your fingers out, "please put ur' hands on me – shhit, fuck!"

hard rubber tip of your boot found itself hiked up against her entrance clad in the jeans inseam, rolling your ankle in circular oscillation.

her entire body rattles, trembling at the mercy of your foot. eyes drowned out. mouth slack agape. soaking slit swallowing up the boxer fabric your foot pushed up. back arching convexly, plowing her rapacious clit on the bulbous edge.

"y-yess.. yesyesyes–" chanted ellie, fucking lost from consciousness.

unluckily, you chuck your foot away.

"no- nono, mhhn– i need'ju.." her mouth latches forward and hungrily nips at your thigh, frustrated at the loss of pleasure with salty tears dripping off her jaw, "I'll make you feel good– please.. nghh-"

so fucking hot.

you chuckle, "see? a pretty fucking loser, poor baby."

ellie just nonscensically rambles, ignoring you, "could fuck you s'good – scchlp," she sucks drool from her spluttered lip, "fuck eachother.."

this girl is antsy as fuck.

♡

that's all y'all get for now 🤣 wait for the rest!!

[foreficfandom]

POV: You Are Actually MUCH More Powerful Than Alastor (2/2)

(Alastor x Reader, g/n, queerplatonic/sex and romance favorable, fan theories, God!Reader)

(FIRST)

Like a VCR, the scene rewound to another memory. A slightly younger Alastor splattered in tomato juice, breathing hard as he sat crossed-legged upon the ground, tearing off small pieces of liver and forcing himself to swallow.

It rewound again. Alastor's first partaking after gaining his powers. Absolutely drenched in gore and on his knees in a puddle of blood. A torn up lump of indecipherable flesh clutched in half-mutated claws. He remembered he had sunk his hand into the man's opened abdomen and pulled out something. His pancreas, or just a bundle of muscle fiber. As sloppy a killing as his first one. It had taken several attempts before he would refine his work.

The room darkened and static was building. "What. Do you know," he growled.

You didn't answer, just took the pairing knife and, in a blink of an eye, flicked the blade underneath one of the glowing green threads pinning his mouth shut. Alastor's magic reacted violently to the intrusion, like the two of you were standing in a maelstrom. Shattered porcelain and wood splinters flew everywhere.

Just as you suspected, the thread did not yield to the knife's edge. No tool could cut Alastor's bonds, not even under your hands. His shackles were bound by his word, and only his word could break them.

Too bad they also held his tongue tightly so that he couldn't ever try.

You looked deep into his burning, blood-red eyes. "Oh, Alastor," you sighed, "what have you done?"

He didn't reply. Didn't move. He told himself he was overcome with indignation, but you knew he was terrified.

After all, what was a mere demon compared to a god? A lesson already learned thanks to the gash of holy magic still festering on his chest.

Using nothing but a soft breath, you forcibly calmed his magic whirlwind like light pressure upon a crying puppy's head. For the first time in nearly a century, Alastor felt … he felt.

With his weaponized despair slightly pushed aside, something of the original, weak man was revealed to still be curled up deep within.

The small saucepan of broth was beginning to bubble over, so you quickly released him to remove it from the heat. Alastor stood frozen to the spot.

Mortal men had predictable reactions to true power. The Radio Demon is no different.

Before he could think to dissolve away, or lash out desperately, or come to any other useless conclusion, you turned back and hovered a steady hand above his trembling, outstretched fingers. Slowly you touched him and allowed your warmth to penetrate his hollow flesh.

Several agonizing seconds passed. He finally turned his gaze at a snail's pace to stare at the point of contact.

The clammy slide of a corpse's arm as he dragged it through the bayou. The hot gush of arterial blood. The barely tolerated passing grip of polite handshakes. The loving touch of a long dead mother.

His smile pried itself open to take a shaking inhale. But still, no words came out.

He needn't speak, though. A wordless promise was clear. Bloodied demon he may be, but you were someone who will always grope and crawl blindly towards love even if the world fought against you. It was what powered your magic. True power couldn’t be fueled by flesh, or blood, or minerals or elements or words or fear or anger.

A cursed man bore his terrified gaze into your shining ones, asking one very important question. You relayed a yes through the squeezing of his fingers.

Now this, you thought warmly, is true entertainment.

[fishyfishyfishtimes]

What Is and Isn't a Fish: a List

A list of the animals I discussed in my fish essay, but for those who don't want to scroll through paragraphs of text to find out if an animal is or isn't a fish. Just CTRL+F your way through here!

I'll add onto here more animals whenever I get asked about them being fish. See my fish essay here!

Some notes before you proceed:

Yes, all tetrapods are fish! We are phylogenetically fish, as we are and our ancestors were lobe-finned fish! "Fish" in the phylogenetic sense is a paraphyletic group if you try to exclude tetrapods, so it is frankly impossible.

How come tetrapods aren't listed as fish then? Long answer, read my essay. Short answer, me and other fish accounts tend to operate on the morphological definition of fish, so does most of the world. Here I use the morphological definition of "fish".

Fish:

Jawless fish

Hagfish

Lamprey

Cartilaginous fish

Sharks

Dogfish

Whale shark

Chimaeras/Chimeras/Ghost sharks

Ratfish

Ray

Stingray

Skate

Ray-finned fish

Teleosts

Catfish

Eels

Moray eel

Seahorse

Sea dragon

Lobe-finned fish

Coelacanth

Lungfish

Not Fish:

Crustaceans

Krill

Shrimp

Crab

Crayfish/Crawfish/Crawdad

Lobster

Spiny lobster

Triops

Mantis shrimp

Barnacle

Isopod

Copepod

Shellfish

Mollusks/Molluscs

Gastropods

Sea snail

Sea slug

Snails and slugs in general

Sea angel

Sea hare

Sea bunny

Cephalopods

Octopus

Squid

Cuttlefish

Nautilus

Inkfish

Bivalves

Clam

Mussel

Scallop

Oyster

Chiton

Chelicerates

Horseshoe crab

Sea spider

Water mite

Diving bell spider

Cnidarians

Jellyfish/Sea jelly/Jelly

Coral

Sea anemone/Anemone

Siphonophores

Portugese man o' war

Echinoderms

Sea cucumber

Sea pig

Feather star

Sand dollar

Sea biscuit

Sea cookie

Brittle star/Serpent star

Sea urchin

Starfish/Sea star

Comb jelly

Lancelet

Tunicates

Sea squirt

Salp

Annelids

Bristle worm

Bobbit worm

Spoon worm

Giant tube worm

Bone-eating worm

Sea mouse/Sea mice

Feather duster worm

Christmas tree worm

Leech

Flatworm

Amphibians

Salamander

Amphiuma

Mudpuppy/Mud puppy

Waterdog

Olm

Axolotl

Siren

Frog

Toad

Tadpole

Caecilian

Reptiles

Sea snake

Water snake

Snakes in general

Sea krait

Turtle

Snapping turtle

Softshell turtle

Sea turtle

Terrapin

Marine iguana

Crocodilian

Crocodile

Alligator

Caiman

Gharial

Bird

Penguin

Seagull

Loon

Swan

Mammals

Whale

Orca

Baleen whale

Toothed whale

Dolphin

River dolphin

Porpoise

Narwhal

Beluga whale

Sperm whale

Pinniped

Seal

Sea lion

Leopard seal

Elephant seal

Walrus

Sirenian

Manatee

Sea cow

Dugong

Otter

Sea otter

Beaver

Hippo

Platypus

Muskrat

Water shrew

[traumxrei-archive]

【 v. plated perfection 】

summary: now that yuu was better, they still had nothing to do. that is, until they heard the cheerful tune of a certain white haired maid floating down the halls… maybe they should go see what kalim is up to.

word count: 1.3k

author’s note: kalim’s part !! i really wanted to do the whole shoujo manga cliche w/ this one so i hope you enjoy ^^

[ the perfect debutante series | or read on ao3 (coming soon) ]

There wasn't much left to do for Yuu when they finally got permission to start working again. (That was an arduous process on its own.) It appeared that Azul, Jade, Riddle, and even Jamil had pitched in to take care of any last-minute preparations.

Now that everything was decided, the previously fast-approaching ball seemed to approach at a snail's pace. On top of that, Yuu had even more free time than usual because the Duke had taken over their work to "give them more time to plan". They did come up with an idea for something special at the Debutante, but it was undergoing some final review from the head butler, so it was a waiting game.

That was why they were strolling the halls, looking for something that they could do. A cheerful tune floated down the halls catching Yuu's ear. They instantly recognized the singer's voice, approaching the open door carefully.

Inside the grand room was Kalim, silverware and dishes spread out in front of him. The silver haired maid looked more put together than usual, his short skirt fluttering over stockinged legs as he spun. A white and gold bandana laid over his silvery hair, ribbons trailing down his neck.

"A whole new– Master?!"

Yuu suppressed a laugh when Kalim finally noticed them, "Hello Kalim, that was a nice song you were singing."

"Oh, I think so too! It's a classical ballad from Scalding Sands. But, Master," The maid blinked, his earrings clinking when he tilted his head. "What brings you here?"

"I was bored." And wasn't that the truth? It was easy to be a little more unfiltered with Kalim. Red eyes sparkled knowingly at their words.

"Hmm, then Master," Kalim very gently grabbed a plate. "What do you think about this plate?"

The plate was...shiny. So shiny, in fact, that Yuu felt a bit dazed, "Er, why did you pick that one out?"

"Well," Kalim set the plate aside. "Jamil and Azul told me to pick something perfect. It's Master's debutante after all!

Kalim started listing on his fingers, "They said, 'pick something that shows off the dukedom's opulence, elegance,' and..."

"Humility?" If it was those two that gave Kalim advice, they would know a thing or two about not going overboard on the flair. 

"Yes! Something like that," Kalim pouted. "But it seems that this set isn't to Master's liking." They could see the metaphorical puppy ears droop as he picked up the plate, going back to the display cases.

"It's only a little bit too shiny," Yuu said quickly, trying to soothe Kalim's mood. "There are plenty of other options."

"Theb how about this one?" Kalim picked up a dish with flowery vines adorning its rim. The gold tipped edge made it look all that elegant. "I think it's very pretty."

"Hmm, but I don't think it would fit with the interior decor of the ball," Yuu offered. "It would be very nice to use for the gardens area, but the plates should be uniform."

A thoughtful look crossed Kalim's face, "How about using it as serving plates? It would also make it easier for the chefs if they knew which plates would go to the hall and which will go to the garden."

"That's very thoughtful of you," Yuu said, and Kalim all but beamed at the compliment.

"I heard Jamil complaining about it before," Kalim said, taking out some serving plates. "One of the times that he was helping out at a party my Baba held, the servants weren't given clear instructions on which food was for which hall and it was a mess."

"Okay, now we have some flowery serving plates and trays!" Kalim dusted off his skirts. "Do you have any suggestions, Master?"

"How about choosing something with Night Raven colors?" Yuu took a seat on the bench beside the tray of plates.

Kalim perked up at that, "That's a great idea! The grey plates are somewhere on this shelf..." The silver-haired maid crouched, reaching for another plate, "This one seems very Night Raven colors." The plates had a grey base, and symmetric white lines crisscrossing to create an intricate pattern.

It was certainly an elegant choice, "That's a bit..."

"...too serious," Kalim concluded, sliding the plate back to its spot. "I guess I'll look at the top shelves."

They watched as Kalim dragged a rolling wooden ladder toward the shelf, "Don't forget, to lock the wheels." Yuu stood up, approaching the shelf as Kalim started climbing the ladder. He made it to the platform, opening the doors to the cabinet.

"It's alright Master, I've been doing this all morning," Kalim called out, as Yuu braced an arm against the ladder. Suddenly, Kalim shouted, "Oh! I found the perfect one!"

Kalim spun in his excitement and that was when it happened. Yuu could do nothing but watch as Kalim's body tilted unnaturally to the right, and—

Yuu lunged forward.

It was instinct, and they could barely think before their back was hitting the ground. A burst of pain hit their shoulder as they rolled before finally coming to a stop.

Their chest rose and fell, the blood rushing in their ears. Kalim's weight was keenly on top of them. That much they could figure out. Yuu pried open their eyes, their chest feeling stifled when—

Oh. Kalim's eyes were such a startling shade of red. Yuu had never seen his eyes that close before. The maid's head jerked back, his earrings chimed at the action. His ribbon brushed against their neck. The sensation was strange. A little ticklish, making them huff out a short breath.

Kalim blinked, his mouth falling open. He reeled backward with a shout and they winced as they heard another thump. Yuu sat up, gingerly touching their shoulder. Kalim was still lying on the ground, his skirts in disarray, still seemingly shocked.

And then Kalim shot up, hands clasping their own, "Master! This– I'm so– this maid apologizes for such a blunder, the ladder was— I-I should've been more careful, but— Oh, the others will kill me if they—"

“The others won't find out," Yuu reassured, glancing at the spotless floor. "None of the plates are broken, and we are both fine, save for our clothes."

"But—" Kalim seemed to sputter, hands gesturing wildly. "But Master, you—"

"Instead of arguing, why don't you show me the plate you found?" Yuu stood, dragging Kalim with them.

Kalim looked conflicted, his stare swinging between the cabinet and them, "Still, you... Master shouldn't do anything dangerous like that again. Promise?”

“I promise,” Yuu nodded toward the shelf. “Let’s see the plate that made you so excited.”

Kalim climbed up the ladder— but not before double-checking all of the wheels to the ladder— before returning with a white plate, with grey flowers and gold patterns lining the border, “Isn’t it perfect?”

“It is,” Yuu agreed, taking the plate into their hands. “You found the perfect plate.” Kalim pumped his fists in the air, before going back to grab the rest of the set. They grinned at Kalim’s quite antics, nodding along to the happy tune he was humming as he placed the plates onto the cart. 

“Should we go have a treat to celebrate?” Yuu suggested, and Kalim’s eyes grew even more shinier than before, his previous mood forgotten.

“Oh! Jamil was cooking up some tester desserts last night!” Kalim gushed, grabbing their hand. “Let’s go and ask him for the rest!” Yuu laughed as they were hurriedly led down the hallway. They had all but abandoned the plates there, but oh well. Maybe having fun and letting loose with Kalim was exactly what they needed before the debutante. (And sweets. Sweets made everyone’s days feel better, right?)

thank you for reading ^^ if you’d like to read more, check out my masterlist ! like the art ? look at more of dumple's works on insta !

[ prev chapter | series post | next chapter ]

[ordinaryschmuck]

Full Family AU Part 34

CRACK!

Marilyn blocked the first swing of Camila's bat with her staff. And then the second. And third.

"Jeeze! Lady! Ease up!"

"You! Owe! Me! MONEY!"

"I'll pay! I'm good for it!"

Camila stops her next swing, staying still and narrowing her eyes at Marilyn. "Are you?"

"YES!" Marilyn exclaimed before taking a breath and standing up straight and looking composed. "I'm sorry. I make it an effort of not paying things. Now...How many snails do I owe you?"

"SNAILS?!" Camila yelled before swinging her bat some more, to which Marilyn started sporadically blocking each attack.

"GAH! WHAT DID I SAY?!"

As Marilyn tried, and consistently struggled, to defend herself, King ran up to the pair, keeping his distancing but yapping at them with many "Wehs!" Luz saw this, and her eyes sparkled over the cuteness.

"Papi! Can I pet the puppy?!" She asked her stunned father. "I want to pet the puppy!"

"Wha--Uh, hang on, Mija." Manny ran over to Vee and scooped her up into his arms as well. She still hyper-focused on Eda, though. And Manny was concerned by the fact that she didn't seem to notice he's there. "Camila! Maybe we should leave this crazy woman!"

"NOT UNTIL SHE PAYS!" Camila shouted, going for another swing. But not only did Marilyn blocked it, she then swung her staff back, causing the bat to fly out of Camila's hands. Defiant, Marilyn then pointed the head of her staff at Camila's face with a very smug smirk.

"HA!" she laughed. "Now what are you going to do with yer weird stick thing?!"

Camila answered that by grabbing the staff and using her own strength to pushed it back and hit Marilyn square in the stomach. It did the effect of causing her to double over and winded, letting go of her staff in the process.

"Okay..." She croaked. "That was pretty good..."

Camila used the staff, firmly grasped in her hands now, to tilt Marilyn's head up so she could properly see the rage in Camila's eyes.

"I am a mother," she growled. "And recently, I have just became a mother of two. I work hard to provide food, shelter, and many more things to keep my baby happy, and now I have to go into double time to do it for my new baby! I will not let some cheapskate with her weird dog think she can run out without paying me for the hard work I put in!"

"...To be fair, I wouldn't call an hour of looking him over that hard of work," Marilyn said.

"SHUT UP AND GIVE ME MY MONEY!" Camila shouted, the tip of the staff glowing yellow. Marilyn raised her hands up in surrender because of it.

"ALRIGHT, ALRIGHT! I'll do whatever you say! Just watch it with that thing, okay? There's enough stored power in there for--"

Unfortunately, Marilyn was cut off as a blast of yellow energy shot out of the staff, causing her head to fly clean off her body and hit a tree.

All but Vee gawked at this display. She may have switched her attention from Marilyn to the staff now, but she still remained in her stagnant state. As for Camila, her eyes focused on the headless body, shocked beyond comprehension as to what she's done and how it still seemed to miraculously sit up.

It wasn't until the hands started to feel around where the head used to be that Camila's shock turned to pure terror.

"Oh, look what you did, lady!" the head exclaimed from where it's at while the body pointed an accusing finger at Camila. "You see what rage does? It gets you so mad that you literally take someone's head off! Got anything to say for yourself?!"

Camila...had nothing to say. Nothing to think. She just stared at the finger of a headless body until it all went dark and she just flopped down onto the grass, completely passed out.

[is-the-snake-video-cute]

I’ve got so many more snake and snake related questions and so I’m just gonna give them in a big list:

I thought that your “animal bones” tag said “snake bones” and now I’m fascinated by that idea as a tag and generally snake skeleton stuff. This isn’t a question I suppose.

Is the number of vertebra of a snake (minus the tail vertebra) comparable in amount to human vertebra?

Are snake scales and snake skin made out of the same stuff human skin and nails and hair are made of (keratin and collagen and the like)?

Are any snakes physically capable of chewing or generally eating something not-whole? Do any of them chew?

To your knowledge, was the creation of syringe needles inspired in any way by snake fangs?

How do scientists milk venom, physically? How much can you take from a snake in one go without harming it? How often?

What are your “smartest” and “dumbest” snakes, if such a thing can be quantified?

Thank you for the snake fact answers. I could just look it up but SEO is a bitch and I like asking people questions about things they’re passionate about.

Great questions!!

Snake bones are so cool. I love looking at viper skeletons especially.

2. Nope! People have like 24 vertebrae, with snakes it depends on species length but snakes have between 100-600. Snake tails are actually pretty short when compared to their torsos (look at the skeleton image below, the tail starts where the ribs end); tails have as few as 10 and as many as a couple hundred vertebrae. Those numbers sound very variable, and that's because snakes just vary so wildly in size and shape!

3. Yes! The same materials make up snake skin and scales as make up human skin and nails. Same stuff, different blueprint! :)

4. Snakes are built very specifically to swallow whole prey, and there are no real exceptions to this. No snake can chew. Some snakes, like snail-eaters, have specialized teeth and jaws designed to "scoop" snails out of their shells so sometimes they don't get it all in one go, but even they are built to try and get as much out at once as possible.

5. Not to my knowledge, I think it's a matter of convergent evolution! :) Hollow needles are just really good at getting stuff into other stuff.

6. When we do venom extractions from snakes, we usually just have them bite a funnel and what they give us is what they give us. If a certain venom is in very high demand, then sometimes we'll express the venom glands while the snake is biting down. That involves gently squeezing the glands to ensure a good amount of venom is released in the bite. It looks rough but I promise it's not, the hold is as gentle as possible and the snakes are not hurt in the process! You gently hold the snake's neck to keep them restrained and keep everyone safe (if you lightly squeeze your wrist just hard enough to manually tilt your hand, it's about that much pressure) and you use your fingers on the opposite hand to express the glands.

We might get 1/10 a teaspoon from each snake per extraction, it's genuinely just a few drops. It takes multiple snakes to get enough to do anything with. At my lab we extract from each snake about once every other week; they need time to relax in between! Venom isn't necessary to remain healthy for lab snakes, but we don't want to stress them.

7. In general, elapids (cobras and their relatives) are the smartest snakes I've ever worked with! King cobras absolutely take the award here, they're so intelligent and curious and just a treat to interact with. Our old boy at my lab, Puppy, can put himself in his handling tube and is always such a show-off for tours. One of my favorite snakes at the lab is an Egyptian cobra named Seth, he's so much fun and loves figuring out the food puzzles and mazes I set up for him!

As for dumbest...I've said it before and I'll say it again, but hognoses are just absolutely zero thoughts animals.

[thebluestbluewords]

pie dough woes

"It's not even good yet!" Jane cries. "Stop stealing all the pastry, there's going to be none left for the filling! You're going to become a raw pie if you keep it up!" 

"You're a raw pie." Jay manages, yanking his hand back out of Jane’s rolling pin range with a handful of dough scraps that he doesn’t deserve. There’s not even cinnamon on them yet, and if he’d just wait, and stop ruining all her plans they’d be twice as nice with the cinnamon and butter mixture she’s got planned for them. 

"You're a delicious baked pie,” Carlos says earnestly, turning his huge and terrible begging eyes up at Jane. "You're perfect and hot and a harbinger of good things into all of our lives." 

Much like a pie (baked), Jane is not going to melt under this pressure. Her butter has already solidified through the transformative cooking process, and she's got nothing left in her to be melted, even by sweet boyfriends with swoon-worthy puppy dog eyes. 

She props her elbows up on the countertop, careful of the flour bowl she's got out by her left elbow to dust the minipie dough with as she works. 

"You're very sweet, but if you eat any more of my pastry," Jane threatens. "I'm going to need to kick you out of the kitchen. And I'll feel bad about it, and then you'll be directly responsible for making me feel bad, and that's not what good boyfriends do." 

"Lucky 'or 'ou--" Jay tries. 

Jane dips her fingers into the flour bowl. If they're going to be menaces in her kitchen, there are consequences that all boys must face. "Choose your next words carefully." 

Jay wisely chooses to swallow the mouthful of raw dough he's stolen from her minipie preparations before trying again. "I said, lucky for you, we're evil--"

Jane launches her handful of flour at him. 

"Hey!" 

Their kitchen gets morning and afternoon sun because the boys insisted on picking the kitchen with the high, wide windows. It means they need to keep the fans running even in the winter if Jane's doing anything finicky with cold pastry dough, but the sight of her isle boys drinking in the sunlight that spills from the windows most of the day is well worth it. The afternoon sun they've got right now is highlighting the flour stuck to Jay's shirt, his hair, his eyelashes. 

"Oops." Jane says sweetly. "I didn't see you there." 

"Beh." Jay spits. There's sort of a lot of flour in his mouth. Oops.She should probably feel worse about that. "Peh. Ew." 

"I didn't mean for you to swallow it!" Jane cries, but oh, she can't help but laugh too. "I was just-- oh, there's so much in your hair, oh goodness." 

"Janey." 

"Yes!" Jane squeaks. She's doing a poor job at containing her giggles. Jay's eyes look so bright and pretty, even covered in flour. Jane's never looked so pretty before, not even when she's dressed to the nines and cleaned up and not covered in flour and buttery fingerprints from where they'd had a slight incident with part of the cinnamon sugar filling before. 

"You really want us to stop?" 

Oh. 

"I mean, I wanted to make a nice dessert, and it's not-- I like having you here in the kitchen with me, but it's hard to finish the pies when you keep eating all my ingredients, and I had a tray for snails all buttered already, and--" Jane forces herself to slow down, take a breath. There's no reason for her to be anxious about baking. "Don't go away, but please stop eating all my ingredients. They'll taste a lot better once they're baked, and I really do want you to try the pies once they're done." 

Jay smiles at her, flour and all, and Jane can feel the tense muscles all along her back relaxing without anything more than the small reassurance. “Okay. We can stop." 

"Thank you." 

“But you should teach us to make this dough sometime. It’s too good to keep it to yourself.” 

“You don’t—“ Jane laughs, because she can’t stop herself. “You don’t even like baking!” 

Carlos drapes himself over her side, careful and warm and comfortable even though he’s made of bones and dried spaghetti noodles. “Because we don’t know how. It’s not like we had the chance to learn as kids.” 

“I’m not a very good teacher,” Jane warns. “I’m impatient. And you’re too smart for your own good.” 

Carlos leans harder. “You taught me how to straighten my hair properly. That took a lot of patience.” 

“Pastry isn’t quite the same thing as hair, babe. There’s a lot more butter in pastry, if you’re doing it right.” 

“I’ll try putting butter in my hair if you’ll teach us how to make pie,” Jay offers, “you know you want to try butter conditioning. I’ll text Evie about it.” 

“No!” 

“Too late, I’m doing it!” Jay says cheerfully. “Butter—conditioner—thoughts? And send.” 

[polskasroka]

Thanks @yes-armageddon-it for the tag! <3

Put your music library on shuffle, then list the first five songs that come up in a poll to let people vote for which one they like the most!

No pressure tags: @vpyre @manngegenmann @solivagantingrebel @feral-fox-crypt @snail-clops @highwarlockofphilly @captainyaps @tunguszka20 and anyone else who'd like to join!

[fanaticsnail]

That Hanahaki story was beautiful and made me think

What fanfiction tropes are your favorites and which characters would you think they'd go well with - I'm talking specifically fanfiction tropes, genres, AUs, bits, etc., and be as specific as you like.

"There's only one bed", "five times - one time", "falls first, falls harder", "why are you asking me do you think I have a tracker on them or something?.... Yeah I do, give me a minute", that trope where someone calls a character another character's dog (either as angst calling the relationship into question, or comedy where the character just deadpans "Woof.😐"), character being wild and outrageous and then their S/O is like "babe." And they're like "yes dear!" And follow like a puppy as if they weren't just threatening to kill someone, "there's no way I'm doing that." (Cut to them doing that), etc.

Oh my goodness, Snail I missed you!!!

All of those tropes you've listed are so immediately Buggy-Coded to me: especially the unhinged action, followed by a verbal reprimanding term of endearment - accompanied immediately with "yes, dear?" Ahhh my heart.

Of the ones listed, in no particular order:

Enemies to Lovers (but they still fight, very much a favourite flavour)

Mihawk, Sir Crocodile, Zoro, Kuro, Garp, Bogard

One bed trope (which I'm yet to write for!!)

Sanji, Luffy, Shanks, Benn, Usopp, Nami

They fell first, they fell harder (always hits me in the chest with the impact of a thousand cannons).

Buggy, Zoro, Shanks, Nami (harder)

Sanji, Koby, Luffy, Usopp (first)

"Am I their keeper? Do I know where they are at all times?" -brief pause- "yes of course I do"

Sanji, Garp, Bogard, Benn, Mihawk

Named their pet after them

Buggy, Shanks, Zoro, Sanji

I have been so out of the game for so long, I was yet to come across a Hanahaki fic. Had to phone a friend for insight on the trope after doing much research.

Thank you for your ask, dear fellow snail. I adore you. I might flesh these out and write them into little headcanons should the mood take me. I appreciate you prompting!!

[thelampisaflashlight]

Everything Goes On Pt. 6

[Ritual night preparations. Not suitable for younger audiences. Previous part here.] Below the cut.

The shift in the air is palpable as the raging sun of summer draws ever closer to the cloudy gloom of fall.

Not yet here, though already on the minds of so many.

Mountain can feel the shift in his bones, bonded to the Earth as he is, but as he looks to the heavens, he cannot but feel a great sense of unease.

The sky is overcast, heavy storm clouds move at a snail's pace overhead.

An ill omen for a night already destined to be touched by the light of a rare blue moon.

Worse yet...

Mountain watches as the siblings gather for mass, their usual uniforms or casual clothes cast aside in favor of the traditional robes of their forbearers.

...there is to be a summoning tonight.

Turning his gaze to the lake, barely a puddle in his vision, he can already see the groundskeepers placing the lanterns to mark the path to the sunken chapel.

Three ghouls stand guard as they work, wearing the silver masks of a now bygone era, sentinels sent by Sister Imperator to ensure no ill business takes place on this most sacred of occasions.

The guards eye him from a distance, one of them, a smaller, slighter figure than the rest, swishes their tail -a threatening crackle of green energy sparking from the spade- at him irritably, and all Mountain can do is hold up his hands and return to his own duties to show he isn't a threat.

"Everyone's so worked up today..." Swiss comments, striding out of the courtyard holding a rake and a compost bag full of dead leaves, "What do I do with these, big guy?"

Mountain gestures towards a small pile between the greenhouses.

"It's because of the summoning tonight."

"I almost forgot about that." Swiss hums, tossing the bag, "I guess since Sunny's summoning was the only one I've ever gone to, I didn't think, ya know, it was a big deal?"

"Sunny's summoning was kind of an outlier, since it was not safe for the clergy to attend en masse." Mountain says, "Tonight's summoning is also special, because we not only have to contend with the weather, but the moon as well... Papa has already ordered several members of the clergy into seclusion to avoid, uh, unwanted side effects."

"What's the moon got to do with it?" Swiss asks, coming back to stand beside Mountain, looking out over the valley.

"You can't feel it?" Mountain questions, placing a hand over the middle of his chest, "Here?"

"Nope, aside from how warm your hand is." Swiss shakes his head, "I mean, I am half human, so it's probably another one of those things that doesn't affect me the same way it does you guys."

"I suppose so." Mountain nods, "But, to explain it a bit, the moon tugs."

"Tugs?"

"It pulls at us like the tides. Water ghouls are especially effected by it, hence why they make themselves scarce during the full moon, as do members of the clergy afflicted with moon based curses such as lycanthropy." he says, "Hence why Rain isn't able to attend the summoning tonight."

"Cause he'll go feral or something?" Swiss asks.

Mountain thinks back to earlier this morning when he'd encountered the ghoul in question rolling around in a pile of spilled laundry when he came to retrieve his clothes from the dryer, thoroughly out of his gourd, tail slapping on the ground like a pleased puppy.

"...Yes... feral..."

Swiss blinks at him.

"What about Dew? Since he's a hybrid?"

"Dew has a remarkably firm grasp on his water side, so he'll still be in attendance." Mountain says, "He'd likely have to attend in some capacity regardless though."

"Why's that?"

Mountain stares down at Swiss.

"What? What, is there something on my face?" the multi-ghoul questions, patting his cheeks.

"...You really don't know?"

"Know what??"

"Satanas... Well, I won't ruin the surprise."

.

.

.

"Ugh, these robes are so fucking heavy..." Dew grimaces, readjusting his vestments for a third time, "This is such a pain in the ass..."

"You do not get to complain." Copia sighs, coating his face in powder, "Mine are twice as heavy, and I don't have any of your unnatural ghoulish strength to help carry the weight."

Dew's tail swishes trapped between two layers of fabric.

"If I knew becoming a bishop would mean wearing so much clothing, I wouldn't have studied so hard."

"You had your entire deaconship and stint as a priest to consider that, now didn't you?" Copia points out, "Having to dress the part of your role only happens once in a..."

"Don't."

"Once in a blue moon." he chuckles, eliciting a groan from the already agitated ghoul, "Ah, lighten up, once the ceremony is over, you can go back to wearing what you want or nothing at all. Hell, you could even strip naked as soon as the rites are done, but, for now, you need to look presentable for the clergy."

"Half the siblings have seen my bare ass-"

"Sister will be in attendance tonight." Copia says, eyeing him from the mirror, laughing once more seeing the ghoul's conflicted expression.

"-which I will keep covered at all times this evening."

"Very good."

Copia stands back to admire his handiwork, checking his make-up for imperfections, "...Ghoul?"

"Yes, Papa?"

"I've been meaning to ask... How have you been since your packmates' departures?"

Dew clicks his tongue.

"I miss Sunny, it was fun having her around while it lasted." he says, "But I know you're not really asking about her."

"Things are still... complicated." he continues, "But Aether is the furthest thing from my mind tonight."

"That is... good." Copia says, "There's a high likelihood that something may go array during tonight's ritual, so I need you focused to ensure that if things do get out of hand, we can put a stop to it as quickly as possible."

"Yes, Papa."

.

.

.

Cirrus sits in her room getting ready for the evening, she doesn't really need to get too dressed up for the event, after all she'll be sitting amongst the siblings along with the rest of the ghouls.

...Save for Cumulus and Dewdrop that is.

And maybe that's why she's putting the extra effort in to look nice even though it will be impossible to really pick her out of the crowd, it's more so for after the rites are spoken.

After Cumulus is freed of her obligations as a sister of sin and they can fuck off while the actual summoning takes place to have a little fun.

At least, that had been the plan...

"Since Aether left, I have to stay as a witness." the smaller ghoulette had informed Cirrus earlier during breakfast, "You know how it is..."

"I don't, actually." Cirrus had grumbled around her pancakes, "You don't tell me anything about your duties as a sister, or why it's so different from being, I dunno, like the rest of us."

"I have though, Cir, I explained what my role is when I took my oath." Cumulus had frowned, patting her hand, "This is one of my duties as a sister, to attend these summonings and bless the new ghouls in the name of the lord below."

"Yeah, but why does it have to be you?" Cirrus groused, letting her fork drop onto her plate.

"I was requested personally, and you have to understand what an honor it is to be chosen for something like this..." Cumulus said, "I'll be standing beside Papa..."

"We hang out with Copia all the time, Lus, it's not that special."

"...Well it is to me." Cumulus whispered, "Plus, Dew could use the support right now. You know him and Aeth-"

"Oh, so it was Dew who asked." she'd scoffed, "Of course it was."

"Cir... what's that supposed to mean?"

"Ever since Aether left, you've been babying Dew." Cirrus hissed, "You even disagreed with me when I said our relationship wasn't like theirs, but it's not. You and I have been together since the pit, those two were just fucking around the way humans do, it wasn't even serious!"

"Wasn't even... Cir, they were engaged!"

"Engaged, but not bonded!"

"Cir..."

Cirrus looks at herself in the small vanity atop her dresser and frowns.

"It's not the same." she tells herself, "Our relationship isn't..."

"Dew could use the support right now."

Cirrus grabs her mascara and uncaps it.

"I hope he fucking trips and falls in his stupid robes tonight..."